Apple iWatch? iDoubt it.

I've seen a few stories recently predicting that Apple will produce some kind of wristwatch in 2013. 

I really, really doubt it. And that's not based on analyzing Apple's component buys, or reading rumor sites. I just can't believe that the company that did more than almost any other to sink the wristwatch will come back and create a wristwatch a few years later. 

It occurred to me recently that I don't wear a watch anymore. I still own my watch, I just rarely wear it. And on those rare occasions that I do wear it, it's not for function, it's for fashion. And I don't think I'm alone here - in 2013, when we need to see what time it is, we pull out our smartphones, or we look at the corner of whichever glowing screen we happen to be looking at. 

Smartphones have a few advantages over traditional wristwatches - they are always accurate. They automatically adjust for daylight savings twice a year, and for timezone changes when we travel. 

Of course, they have to be charged every day - one notable disadvantage. But they can surf the internet and make phone calls. Two notable advantages!

But now that I'm carrying an iPhone everywhere I go (okay, two iPhones), I don't really need a wristwatch.  And I certainly don't need a multifunction digital watch. If I'm wearing a wristwatch, it's there to make me look good - not because it has a stopwatch or something. 

So, I find it kind of difficult to believe that Apple, of all companies, would be interested in creating an "iWatch" - which, rumor would have it, would be a lot like the 6th generation iPod nano, with a wrist band. 

What are the arguments in favor of such a device?

1. "It would be just like Dick Tracy's 2-way wrist communicator!" Okay, sure. It would be a small, less useful iPhone, tethered to our wrist, making it difficult/impossible to use as anything other than a speakerphone. Dick Tracy's miracle watch was conceived in 1946, almost seven decades ago. Tech has caught up to and passed that vision of the future. 

2. "You could just glance at your watch to see if someone called/texted/emailed you!" Well, yes. At which point I'd have to pull out my actual iPhone to call/text/email them back, because a watch face that is small enough fit on one's wrist without looking silly is going to be too small to type on (or to read, really.) 

And because the iWatch is tethered to one of your wrists, any typing you COULD do would have to be one-handed. 

The only possibility I can see for a "smart watch" that would be interesting in the least would be a standard wristwatch, with real physical hands, and an face that doubles as an e-ink screen. Messages would generally NOT be shown, but would appear, and then disappear, as they're received. The watch would connect to the wearer's iPhone via Bluetooth. That's it. 

And most importantly - the watch shouldn't be an Apple product. It should be an accessory produced by a true watchmaker, like Tag Heuer or Omega. Fashion is going to trump function in the wristwatch category from here on out, and I don't think people would want to show off an Apple iWatch.

In closing, Apple - don't bother with the iWatch. Let's get cracking on that iRemote platform!