You Know What, Comcast? I just... I don't even. Whatever.

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I've written on this blog about our ongoing problems with Comcast.

My primary issue with Comcast is that I AM NOT A COMCAST CUSTOMER, AND THEY KEEP BILLING ME. 

FOR GOING ON SIX MONTHS NOW.

We have WOW! broadband internet. It's not lightning fast (15 down / 2 up), and it's not particularly cheap ($50/month) but it generally works, and they don't play the "promo rate / rate hike" games that Comcast does.

That said, considering that we own our own modem, we considered switching to Comcast internet last October, at least for the 6-month $35 intro rate for 20 Mbps internet.

They sent a tech to our house, who looked at the cable currently running to our house, threw his hands in the air, and said that he couldn't install internet at our home.

They'd have to run new cables. Which couldn't be done until the spring, because they don't dig cable trenches in cold weather.

(As an aside, all of this is odd, because the prior owner had Comcast internet, the wires running to our house literally have "Comcast" tags on them.)

But hey - no harm done. We'll stick with WOW!, and that's that. The Comcast guy confirmed that he wasn't able to install, and gave me some papers to sign cancelling any service.

Except for one problem. A month later, Comcast billed us. 

I called Comcast, and they sheepishly admitted the mistake. But as the phone rep noted - it was within the 30-day window for no-fee cancellation anyway, so no harm done.

They cancelled the account, and sent me a confirmation number.

And then, the next month, they sent me a bill for 2 months service. And late fees.  

For service that they have literally never provided.
Not even one BYTE of internet service.
Ever.

I called them back, and they were completely confused. They had me listed as an "ACTIVE CUSTOMER", and had no record that there was a problem with the install.

They had no record that I'd ever tried to cancel service.

They had no record of the cancellation number.

But they could take care of it.

Until a month later, when I got a notice for 2 MONTHS PAST DUE, with hundreds in service fees and late fees, and language about contacting credit bureaus and so forth.

That same day, I received an email - with my cancellation confirmation number in the subject line! - explaining that my account could not actually be closed until I spoke with the customer retention department.

Which is ironic, because I was never a customer to begin with. There was literally nothing to "retain". But would I be so kind as to call them before they were forced to take further action against me?

Well, I called them. And they told me, over and OVER again, that the service was now "cancelled", that they'd reverse the existing charges, and that they hadn't taken any adverse action against my credit history.

Guess what.

I just received ANOTHER bill from Comcast. 

It says that they're sorry to lose me as a customer.

And all of the service charges UP TO THE CANCELLATION DATE were reversed.

All of the LATE FEES are still being charged.

And for some reason, I have $69.99 in "new charges".

I've never received any internet service from Comcast.

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